Sleep Training

[Alana]

Advice on Sleep Training! Just wanted to remind everyone that there are many ways to "train" your child, and no 2 children are exactly alike! What works for one, may not work for another. Parenting is an individual thing, and you should really explore all your options before you decide on which way to go. Also, make sure you are open to changing your approach. Try a method however many times you think is right, but remember you can change your mind to do something else if it isn't working out for you.

[J-Net]

A slightly modified version of this worked for us, in 3 nights!! It's been super easy to get our son to sleep since then. Some nights he stays awake, but in his crib without crying, he sings to himself, or plays with a small (soft) toy until he falls asleep. I HATED to hear him cry, but in the long run, he is happier, because he KNOWS that this is the way it is, and it doesn't change, and he isn't surprised by any changes, so it's comforting. And we are much happier, because we get some couple time, and a good nights sleep, which makes us much better parents.

"One of the most important things in getting your baby to sleep properly is for baby to learn to sleep on his or her own. The reason it is so difficult for many parents - why parents of a newborn suffer from so many sleepless nights - is because your baby, at first, isn't used to sleeping on his own, and when he wakes up in the night he cries for his mother: being in the presence of his mother is only way he knows how to get to sleep. It is natural that this transition from sleeping with the mother, to sleeping on his own, will take some time for your baby. Many baby sleep tips involve setting up a strict nighttime routine, and introducing objects - such as stuffed animals - into the bed that your baby can associate with sleep. If you find after some months that your baby is still not able to sleep on his own, you can try what is known as the Ferber method.
Invented by Dr. Richard Ferber, the Ferber method is the most common way of weaning your child away from the mother, in terms of his sleep habits. It is usually successful within a couple of weeks. Nevertheless, it is important that you choose a week where you can afford to lose some sleep to begin the Ferber method. Especially at the beginning of the process, the Ferber method does require that you spend a lot of time listening to your baby crying, and if you attempt it at a time when you are desperate to sleep, you run the risk of breaking down and allowing your child to sleep with you, or sleeping in the room with him. If you do so you risk undoing a lot of work that you will have put into the method.
The first night you attempt the Ferber method, put your child to bed as you normally do. Your baby should be tired but still awake when you put him to bed, so that he is left to fall asleep on his own. After you leave the room, the baby will inevitably start crying. Allow him to cry for about 5 minutes, then re-enter the room to console him. It's important that you stay in the room for only a short time - even if he is still crying - and that you don't pick him up or rock him. This second time you leave the room, wait 10 minutes before returning in the same manner. The third time wait 15 minutes, and set this as a maximum wait time for the rest of the night.
Every time thereafter, enter the room briefly and then allow your child to cry for 15 minutes. Eventually, he will fall asleep on his own during one of the 15 minute intervals in which you are out of the room. The second night, you should begin with a 10 minute wait before re-entering the room, followed by 15 and then 20 minutes. In a similar fashion, increase your initial and subsequent wait times by 5 minutes each night.
Using this method your child will soon learn to go to sleep on his own. Although it can be difficult to listen to your baby cry, understand that the Ferber method is a safe and effective way of getting your baby to learn to sleep on his own."

http://www.sleep-baby-sleep.com/ferber-method.htm

[Alana]

absolutely agree! Ours went to sleep on his own after the first night: 45mins, the second: 35mins, the 3rd: 20mins, and the last was a little whimpering. From then on he slept regularly and through the night. Just wanted to say that our son was 5 months old when we started, so he was less capable than a 1 year old (for example) to stay awake crying. It gets harder and harder to do this as they get older, so if you are thinking about doing this, better get to it as quickly as possible!

I just wanted to add that if he wakes up in the middle of the night DO NOT pick him up! Simply do the same exercise or you run the risk of undoing your work. If you Breastfeed, as long as they're 3 months or older, he will not need to feed throughout the night. If there are a lot of feedings, then each night, remove 1. Eventually you will be able to teach him he doesnt get food until the morning.

Also, DO NOT let him fall asleep while feeding or after, until he is in the crib on his own. Tickle his feet or whatever you have to do to keep him awake. Breastfeeding can become a sleeping tool, and you don't want that to happen as you are trying to teach him to put himself to sleep.

Soothers make things worse because they fall asleep with them in their mouths, and then in the middle of the night, they can't get them in their mouths, and they cry until you wake up and give it to them. It will continue in a vicious circle of the same thing you're trying to avoid!

GOOD LUCK!!!

[J-Net]

Agree, especially about not letting them go to sleep BEFORE they go in the crib, IMO, I would be scared about waking up in a place I didn't fall asleep without knowing how I got there, so I think babies would too!

But, I don't agree about the soother thing, I've never had to get up just to give back a soother, so it hasn't been a problem with either of my kids! To each their own, but I'd rather deal with a soother than a thumb, lol! Mostly because I can control the soother, and I can't control a thumb, so I can decide when to take it away.

From http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/HealthAZ/Thumbsucking.aspx?articleID=8994&categoryID=


"If your baby needs to suck a lot, try to interest him in a pacifier instead of his thumb when he needs to be comforted, but is not hungry. However, avoid overusing it. Unlike thumbsucking, pacifier use can be controlled as your child grows older because you can take away the pacifier. If they are older than 1 year, children who use pacifiers do not switch to sucking their thumbs when they give up the pacifier. Children are always able to give up their pacifiers by age 4 or 5 years.

Thumbsucking lasting beyond age 5 can usually be prevented if you avoid pulling your child's thumb out of his mouth at any age. Also, don't comment in your child's presence about your dissatisfaction with the habit. Scolding, slapping the hand, or other punishments will only make your child dig in his heels about thumbsucking. If you can wait, your child will usually give up the thumbsucking naturally. If you turn the issue into a showdown, you will lose, since the thumb belongs to your child"

[Alana]

Touché!

I think it depends on the age, though. Tristan was too young to do the whole pop the soother back in the mouth, and had a huge interest in the thumb. I don't know how you would prevent the thumb thing from happening. Any ideas so I don't have to do this the same way the next time (whenever that finally happens... grrr)?

[J-Net]

I don't know what you could do if he was too young to put the soother back in his own mouth, and freaked out about it, but IMHO, I'd leave them with a soother until they're 2ish, that seems to be a good age.

That's when I took Kimi's away, she was only using it at night anyway, and it took one night of her being upset for a bit before sleep for her to get used to not having it anymore. She didn't start on her thumb either, after we took the soother away, I think in part because she was already weaned off bottles, and the soother was her only sucking thing left over from being a baby, where if you take the soother away before the bottle or breast, then they're still into sucking and are more likely to go for the thumb. For the comfort aspect of it.

After Mitchel is weaned off his bedtime bottle, I'll wait a few months and lose the soother too, and I'm hoping that it works just as well as with Kimi. LOL, it's been a little while.....

[J-Net]

......as for getting your baby/toddler to sleep tho? It sucks, but you just have to do it!

We had Mitchel in our room (in his crib) until he was around 1, and the same night we moved him into his own room (after we built it, lol) we started the cry-it-out. We figured that one big change would be easier for him to deal with than to get him used to one way, then make another change in a week or so!

Again, IMO, you and your SO need to be on the same page, but unless you want to forgo sleep for another 5+ years, it really needs to be done!

I'm supah glad we did!!

[Sponsored content]